When I perceived the world from my egoic mind it was a pretty fucked up place indeed. From this place I believed the lies my ego would whisper in my ears of how we're all too wounded and divided to ever unite. How we're sick, cowardly, fake, and full of bullshit and thus deserve the hell on earth we've created. It was only when I became courageous enough to look at and feel all the big and little ways I have contributed to how fucked up the world appeared to me, and allowed myself to feel EVERYTHING - helplessness, rage, despair, grief, hatred and all my egoic sickness - that everything began to change.
I bled out the poisons which kept me identified with my self born of my wounds, a false self which was needed for me to survive the anti-love I grew up in, the same anti-love that the majority of the world is constructed in, but at a certain point this false self became more prison than protection. It was at this crucial juncture, only through much suffering, that the i that I thought I was broke down and gave way to something much greater.
The love in my heart affirms to me that I'm no longer the i, even though we co-exist. I'm in transition between self and Self and it is a subtle, intense, painful and blissful process. Each day i die so that who I truly am may emerge to an even greater degree. Although my will, passion, and conviction is what brought me through hell to heaven's gate, I know in my heart that there is no taking heaven by force. There is only entering heaven through being love, and now I know that we can never be love unless we're honest with whatever we are right now.
May we all accept everything we are in this moment, so that we may become all that we truly are. Nothing more and nothing less.
"Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love." - Fyodor Dostoyevsky