As I gear up to head out to Standing Rock with some of my light warrior tribe family, my heart is filled with love for my father out in Montana on his special day. I'm grateful to be at a place on my path where I am able to love him just as he is, and appreciate not only the "good" he bestowed upon me but also the "bad".
Healing my father wounding took years of intensive work and a lot of purging, cleansing, forgiving, and integrating. I had a deep well of rage and grief born from his departure from my life just before I was about to start middle school. Truly, it felt like the end of the world at the time. However, through my path of awakening I have realized that his departure from our family was a blessing for me, or at least I was able to turn it into that. Because it was the pain from his leaving our family which effectively separated me from the safety of my mother's hearth and thrust me into the wild unknown of life.
I initially ran from the pain within me, it was all I could do to survive. Yet through my relationship to this pain and learning to at first manage it, and then eventually to dive in and heal it with the help of some wise and loving mentors, I have been able to find my own way into manhood and now have tools which help me to help others heal their pain.
So now I no longer run from fond memories of us road tripping, camping, and playing board games; no longer do I have to run from tender memories of just me, him, and the night sky where he would point out the names of stars and constellations; and no longer do I run from the deep love and gratitude I feel for him. I cherish all the memories and I cherish being able to feel the love I feel for you dad!
Thank you for the role you've played and continue to play on my journey, thank you for being who you are and living your truth, so that I can now live mine.
Happy birthday, Dad! I love you!